Men are often encouraged to be “strong” and “stoic,” which can lead to emotional suppression. We are socially conditioned to ‘get on with it’ and to show strength for others in difficult times. But, pushing these feelings down doesn’t make them go away; we often find ourselves masking pain with coping strategies such as engaging in excessive alcohol, gambling, pornography or fitness. Men often mask emotional distress or unhappiness by using humour around friends, becoming the life of the party – some choose working excessive hours to avoid those quiet moments when their mind becomes uncontrollably negative.
“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” – Henry Thoreau.
When men stay silent, bad things happen. The UK prison population is around 96% male, 77% of homeless people are male, and men are three times more likely to die by suicide. The stats won’t change unless we do. So why are we avoiding getting help or talking about our feelings?
My experience of counselling in Cornwall has been challenging yet immensely rewarding – it has changed my life. I’m more confident and emotionally aware. There was a time when I felt sick at the idea of getting help, avoiding it at all costs. I can still remember the feeling of shame of seeking therapy after life became really challenging, hoping no one would see me leaving the therapist’s office. In reality, the people who care about me were proud to see me getting support and seeing me grow.
The research shows that men often wait years before seeking help and only do so when things get severe or somebody pushes them to get support. You don’t have to wait until things become overwhelming, and you don’t have to do it alone. Listening to podcasts, watching videos or reading books is important to help us develop, but often, the answers are inside. They were for me, and I needed support to get there.
Prioritising our mental health is something to be proud of. As a therapist, I’m seeing more men take the courageous step to seek counselling and transform their lives. But if private counselling isn’t accessible, local support groups like Mind and ManDown can offer invaluable help. Taking that first step is often the hardest part, but the rewards can be life-changing. If you’re ready for change but unsure where to start, reach out for a chat. Even if private counselling isn’t an option, we can discuss what you’re working through, and perhaps I can direct you to other services.
I offer counselling for men and women in Cornwall from my private therapy studio in Redruth. Call me on 07969547876 to find out more to chat about options that may be available for you. I offer reduced rates for people on low incomes, unemployed and people working as a Key Worker.
Keywords: Counselling for men in Cornwall, Counsellor in Cornwall, Counsellor Redruth
